Cami: Why I Sing

Why do I sing? Why do I sing? Why do I sing? See how it can take a different meaning when you change the emphasis? That is why I am going to look at this from a few different angles. Hence, this may not be the profound work of poetry, but that’s not really my style at this stage of my life (being neck-deep in activities that revolve around changing diapers, relearning elementary math concepts such as long division in order to teach it to my child, deciding whether a spoonful of vinegar is the appropriate disciplinary measure about 25 times a day, (breathe), and so forth).

First, Why do I sing? When I am doing that, why is it that I am doing it? I realized a few years back that I pretty much only sing when I’m happy. That doesn’t include any instance when I’m asked or expected to sing—sure, I’ll be singing then. But I realized that I don’t sing in the shower unless I’m happy and in a good mood. I don’t sing in the car when I’m stressed and late. I forget to sing with my kids when I take life too seriously. Sometimes I just have to remind myself (or listen when my kids remind me) to unfurrow my brow, lift up and sing.

So, why do I sing, then? Because it’s, well, my identity. It’s part of what makes me who I am. It is something that sets me apart from other people—not above or below—and gives me a sense of individual-ness. Everybody needs to feel unique and special. The fact that I can sing well makes me feel special, and makes up for the fact that I can’t throw a ball more than, like, 20 feet, or in the same direction twice, among many other things.

Now read it like this: Why do I sing? I decided to involve my family with this one. My daughters’ answers were both the same when I asked them: “Because it’s fun!” My son’s indifferent reply, “Because I have to.” (His answer should have been “Because I love the Super Mario Bros background music so much that I just have to hear it even when I’m not playing!”) I tried asking my husband and he wouldn’t give me a serious answer, but I can answer for him. Josh sings, at least at home, easily the most of anyone in the family. He simply sings whatever he is thinking to the melody that is stuck in his head at the moment, be it Meatloaf or Les Mis, making sure all the lines rhyme. I imagine that it’s his way of decompressing after a stressful day. My personal answer to this adaptation of the question goes back to the last two paragraphs. I mean that singing in and of itself isn’t what I love. It’s what I feel when I do sing and what it means that I can sing that holds meaning.

Finally, the ever-enigmatic Why. Why do I choose to sing when I’m sad and overwhelmed? Why do I choose to sing when I’m stressed out? Why do I choose to sing when it means I have to sacrifice other good things? It’s because I get to sing with Utah Chamber Artists, under the direction of a masterful wizard of harmony. Creating sounds that nourish my soul and gratify my senses. If I didn’t sing with this group, I know that my dark hours would be darker and my joyful days would be incomplete. That is Why I Sing!